


We're Working Under The Assumption That Sophocles Is Not My Dad

by Leitess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anniversary, M/M, Waking Up, don't worry about them, idk how to tag this, the nakodiles are only a brief mention, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17762987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leitess/pseuds/Leitess
Summary: Today is..Hm..Dirk Strider does not actually know where he was going with that.(In other words, its two dudes being loving bros in a loving relationship waking up on a special date. Seriously, that's basically all it is.If you don't like Stridercest, don't read!)





	We're Working Under The Assumption That Sophocles Is Not My Dad

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of an rp me and a friend are having! Today's our friendiversary, and it's been exactly two years since we first met and started rping this rp! This is a lil oneshot based in the future for them :3
> 
> The title and related bit in the fic came from an actual experience I had. With myself. I said that.
> 
> Also this fic has no proofreading or editing. Literally 97% of this was made at school today. Read at your own risk.

Today is..

 

Hm..

 

Dirk Strider does not actually know where he was going with that. But that's okay, he'll remember soon. For now, though, he's focused on trying to hold on to sleep and its comfortable blankness. Or, whatever it is. All he knows is that he doesn't want to wake up and go back to the real world.

 

Sadly, he already started waking up, and everyone knows that once you start you can't stop. At least, it's that way in Dirk's experience. Who knows about other people.

 

Anyway, Dirk groans softly, shifting to snuggle up to the soft warmth next to him. If he can't go back to sleep, he might as well be comfortable, and cuddling up to his husband is the best way to get there. Besides, Dave deserves something extra nice to wake up to. Today's a special day after all.

 

Dirk completely forgets why this day is so special, but that's alright, his mind is always slow in the mornings. And even if there isn't anything happening today, it's always nice to treat his lover. Dave never not appreciates it, and Dirk enjoys making sure Dave knows he's loved.

 

Speaking of loving Dave, Dirk snuggles closer to him when his husband starts mumbling a little in his sleep. Cracking his eyes open, Dirk quickly looks him over to be sure nightmares won't be a thing that starts happening. Luckily for him, Dave seems perfectly content, so Dirk closes his eyes again with a satisfied hum. His lover is just waking up.

 

Dave shifts to lean into Dirk, mumbling a bit louder. Most of it is absolutely nonsense, and the rest Dirk can't make out, so Dirk just smiles and nods along a little as he waits for words that will finally start making sense. Meanwhile, Dave just keeps mumbling.

 

And mumbling.

 

And... Okay, this is getting a bit boring. Dirk huffs a little as his patience gets close to not actually being a thing, and squeezes Dave a little to see if he can get some sort of reaction from him. “Babe. Babe, why?” Hopefully the internet is right about talking to sleeping or, uh, half asleep people in this case. Should be funny.

 

Funny is exactly what Dave turns out to be. With a soft whine, Dave nuzzles his face into Dirk's neck, mumbling out a “'m working under the assumption that Sophocles is not my dad.”

 

Dirk can’t help but laugh at that, then quickly slapping a hand over his mouth to try to quiet himself down. But it’s already too late, as Dave furrows his brows and tilts his head back to blearily look up at him.

 

“What..?”

 

Dirk shakes his head, an amused smile on his face as he pulls his hand down to wrap it back around his husband instead. “Nothing, babe. You were just being funny again.”

 

Dave groans a bit in response. “Would it at least be good in SB&HJ?” His tired mind made him absolutely butcher the acronym, but Dirk understands Dave pretty well from all the years they’ve been together.

 

“Oh, you know it. It’s good enough to be the tagline for your next movie. ‘We’re working under the assumption that Sophocles was not my dad.’ Make it another action movie, every plot element has something to do with the fact that Sophocles is not anyone’s dad. In the end, Sophocles is revealed to be everyone's dad. We were all birthed from the folds of his mind. He’s the real god.”

 

By the end of Dirk’s mini ramble, Dave’s laughing and reaching over him for the drawer in the nightstand. Dirk rolls his eyes at that but reaches back to opening it, then passing a notepad and pen inside it over to Dave. Dave immediately writes down everything Dirk said, somehow finding space between six other ideas, each one a sprawling paragraph threatening to fall right off the paper.

 

“Fuck, I think it’s about time you switch to another page on that thing. Like, dude, dudebabe, I love you, but I doubt your abilities to finish the idea you’re actively writing in front of me on the same paper you started it on. It’s just impossible. Please look at how much room you have on the paper behind it.”

 

Dave sticks his tongue out at him and proceeds to shatter everything he just said by finishing the idea on the same page with more room to spare. Dirk’s mind is blown. How does Dave do it?? Luckily, he spares Dirk the pain of eventually watching him fit yet another idea on the same page. Dave draws a mini comic in the extra space that looks suspiciously like loss.jpeg before tearing the paper out and handing it to Dirk. He dutifully takes the paper and eventually pad with pen to place them on top of and in the nightstand respectively.

 

When he looks back, Dave is smiling at him with that shit-eating grin of his, and Dirk doesn’t even have time to dodge before Dave is all up in his business and kissing him. As soon as Dave pulls away, Dirk tries to become a snail and suck his face into his head and neck. He doesn’t succeed in becoming a snail or sucking his face in, because frankly those things are impossible, but it’s the effort that counts.

 

“Dave, fuck, why?? Your breath smells like a corpse!”

 

“Because I loooove you~”

 

“Ew, if your love smells like this, I don’t want anything to do with it!”

 

Dave giggles and leans in to peck Dirk’s cheek, humming happily while Dirk cringes.

 

“Nope, that’s it, you’re getting thrown out of the bedroom until further notice. Have fun sleeping on the couch, swampbreath.”

 

“Aww, but baaabe-”

 

“Don’t you pout at me, mister! I can and will literally throw you out of the house.”

 

“I don’t think so~ I can time travel to before you even try to pick me up, remember?”

 

“I’ll send Warren after you.”

 

Dave frowns as he remembers the little nakobaby. He and his sister Rhea came a few years ago, when he and Dirk accidentally went back to when LOHAC was still around. They found a nakodile they affectionately named Nakkew, and the little guy traveled around with them until Dave got enough energy to try to go back to his original time. They ended up on the golden ship with Davesprite instead, and because reasons, Nakkew had eggs. And he was a guy. It was some serious m!preg shit. Anyway, Warren and Rhea came from that, and the nakodile babies (also called nakobabies) were too cute to leave behind. So.. Dave and Dirk took them home.

 

Then they figured out that due to ambient aspect energy (magic?) on the planets, consorts that grow up on them get a bit of control over that planet’s aspect. Godtiers let out a lot more of that, so consorts around them get even more control over that aspect. Warren just so happened to get Heart, and his favorite thing to do is to tug at Dave's soul to keep him around and paying attention to the little nakobaby. Luckily it doesn't hurt, but it's enough to disrupt time travel. (Rhea got Life, but that's a story for another day.)

 

Dirk smiles at Dave when his frown turns into a pout, before flicking Dave's forehead. “Just go brush your teeth. I'll even come with, to make it worth your while.”

 

Dave immediately perks up, completely ignoring the flick as he hops out of bed butt naked. “Hell yeah.”

 

Dirk rolls his eyes in response before standing up absolutely naked too, then pushing Dave towards the closet. “Get some clothes on before you leave, you dork.”

 

His husband sticks his tongue out at Dirk again, which is becoming such a common occurrence around the house that Warren and their ectobaby are now copying him, but Dave actually listens to his lover and goes to get some clothes. Dirk catches whatever gets thrown at him and puts it on without questioning it. Robot themed PJ’s, nice.

 

Dave puts on his own Elmo themed PJ’s (Elmo? Why??) and passes Dirk on his way out, thankfully sparing him from another foul-mouthed kiss. On their way to the bathroom, Dirk wonders why the fuck godtiers can't have magical “our teeth are always clean” powers like their god outfits. Not that their outfits have teeth. That would be terrifying. Dirk is just trying to say that maybe, just maybe, gods should just be able to stay permanently clean and healthy. That's just his unpopular opinion, though.

 

Speaking of unpopular opinions, daily morning routines aren't interesting. They're boring and uneventful, so this fic is going to completely skip over the completely eventful makeout scene in the bathroom. Just two dudes being hands-on bros with each other, nothing to see there. There’s still nothing to see even when Dirk remembers that what day today is, sends a grin Dave’s way, and picks him up bridal style to carry him down to the kitchen. Even when pancakes are made and eaten and games are played, there’s just nothing interesting enough to write a fic about.

 

Just two dudes being husbands, loving each other on their anniversary.

**Author's Note:**

> Dave: *kisses Dirk immediately after waking up*  
> Dirk: [Snoil](https://www.flickr.com/photos/142343308@N07/42607569831/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> Sorry for the rushed and kinda weird ending that doesn't fit with the rest of the fic. I'm tired and I procrastinated until, like, the second to last big paragraph, and then just decided "fuck it I'm ending it". It's the thought that counts tho 
> 
> If anyone is?? Interested?? I might make another little drabble like this and add it as another chapter?? Idk tho
> 
> Originally posted on 2018-06-06


End file.
